Tips For Coming Of Anti-Depressants

This is a topic very close to my heart currently. Its fresh in my mind, because I am literally going through it right now. Lets just say it hasn’t gone quite to plan. I came off my Sertaline tablets a few months ago now, as I felt it was about time after almost 6 years or how ever long I’ve been on them. Its something I was meaning to do but I guess the fear of not knowing what I’d be like off them put me off. I finally took the plunge and stopped them. I wasn’t taking them regularly anyway so I thought why not, its no good for me to be taking them every other day anyway.

I noticed my anxiety and OCD gradually started to get a little harder to handle but this past few weeks to put it bluntly has been hell for me. I have really struggled to hold it together, certain anxiety and OCD issues I thought I was so over have suddenly appeared and graced me with their awful presence. I have now accepted me feeling like I do right now isn’t any quality of life and reluctantly have started to take my tablets again. This wasn’t the easiest decision to make because I felt like I had failed, and I now have to deal with the nausea and side effects of re starting the tablets. That being said, I don’t think this experience should stop or make anyone fear coming off medication, everyone is different and no two experiences will be the same. So I thought as I’ve just been through it all, I’d make you guys aware of some tips and thoughts to bear in mind when stopping your medication.

♥ Make sure you consult a doctor, its best to be safe with these things and keep professionals in the loop, just in case you have any weird withdrawals. Its also a good opportunity to ask any questions and bring up any concerns you have about changing or stopping your medication. Doctors also like to keep an eye on your mental health during this time, and make sure your coping ok.

♥ Always taper of anti-depressants and medication that are known to give you withdrawals. Stopping very suddenly after taking a medication for even only 6 weeks can give you some horrible side effects. For example : Irritability, nausea, feeling dizzy, vomiting, nightmares, headache, and/or paresthesias (prickling, tingling sensation on the skin). You will have a much easier ride if you listen to the doctors and gradually reduce your medication.

♥ Be prepared and clued up on withdrawals. I think its a good idea to be aware and talk to your doctor about possible withdrawals when coming of your tablets. You can then be prepared and less frightened if you happen to experience any unusual symptoms during this time. Try not to let these stop you from coming of your tablets because they will pass and its just something that if we want to come off our tablets we have to face up to. Some people don’t  even suffer with withdrawals at all, but I think its best to have knowledge of these things. It will be ok!

♥ Make sure you tell your family, friends and work. You don’t have to go around shouting it from the rooftop but it helps to know people can look out for you and support you. I know I was quite worried about coming of mine. It also helps to just alert work that you are taking steps to come off some tablets and to be patient with you. You may not need any time off but at least if you struggle or  need some time of  to get over any side effects of stopping, you have already made them aware of your situation.

♥ Allow yourself  some time to adjust to the change. Your brain will have had a little bit of extra help with its serotonin and altering your brain chemistry when taking certain tablets, so it can take a while for things to level out and see how you cope without them.

♥ Coming off them doesn’t have to be permanent, so don’t be afraid. If things turn to rubbish and you realise it wasn’t the right time for you, you can change tablets or go back on your old ones. Nothing is set in stone.

♥ Lastly, like me, don’t feel like if you have to go back on them that you’ve failed. You tried and now wasn’t the right time but that is ok. Its just a tablet you take everyday and accepting any help when you need it, is the right thing to do. It’s ok to swallow your pride and allow yourself to go back on them. No one is judging you and if they do, that is their problem not yours.

I hope this helps anyone taking the big steps to come of your medication.

Good luck,

Anna

♥

 

 

How To Be A Good Friend To Someone Suffering With Mental Illness

 

As someone who has suffered with Depression, Anxiety and OCD, I feel like I can safely say this has led to some detachment, from my friends over the years. Especially when things were really tough for me. Getting ready to go out whilst suffering with depression, and feeling as if I had no energy for the smallest of things. Pair that with the added struggle of it taking me hours to get ready due to my OCD, it was just all too much. Too much to do the normal things and also too much to do the fun things, for example go out with friends like a normal teenager/ young adult would have. So what did I do? I just stopped. I stopped saying yes to things and I detached myself from people. Unfortunately at the age I was I felt not many people understood what I was going through, but that feeling is something everyone going through a hard time can experience at any age.

Can I really blame people for giving up on me when I’d said no to going out again and AGAIN. I understand how frustrating it must feel to constantly be trying with someone who doesn’t seem to want to do anything especially if they don’t explain and you don’t understand. At the same time that person needs someone more than ever even if they push you away and only want you from a far. So I thought I would try to write a list of a few things, that I think are good ideas to help you feel as if you are being a good friend to someone you may know is struggling.  You can feel so useless when its a matter of the mind, no plaster, tablet or trip to the doctors is going to fix it. That doesn’t mean there aren’t things that can be done to make that person feel loved and supported, it’s just a little trickier. This can also relate to family and partners to.

 ♥ Talk to them. Let them know that you are always there to talk to and you’re not just saying it. Check in on them if you’ve not heard from them or they’ve gone quiet and you know they’re going through some stuff. This will let them know that there not a burden and you really do care and want to listen. It sounds obvious but sometimes they won’t come to you, from fear that you won’t understand or you’ll be dragged down with their problems.

♥  Invite them places but don’t be too pushy. Don’t just give up on them after they’ve said no. Try to understand where they’re coming from, and even ask whats making them not want to go out. Ask if there is anything that they would be comfortable doing if it’s not the thing you’ve suggested. I know it may feel pointless but still inviting them out even if you are expecting a no shows you’re still here when they’re ready. Perhaps they don’t want to go to that party or group event but would prefer a smaller social setting with just you and them. Keep trying but give them space too, find the balance of caring but not making them feel forced.

 ♥  So they don’t want to go out? Suggest a cosy night in, in your favourite comfies with films, face masks and comfort food. That kind of evening doesn’t require much energy or preparation and is the perfect time for you both to vent to each other and have a laugh.

♥  Confide in them about your own personal struggles if you have any that relate. Just hearing someone around you has had similar struggles, thoughts and feelings can be such a comfort when you feel alone.

♥  Talk to them about getting help if they aren’t. If you think your friend is suffering with a mental health problem, and they’re not talking to anyone about it or receiving help, you should encourage them to. If you also think that person is in danger of hurting themselves or isn’t able to see they need it desperately, it’s best to confide in someone close to them like a parent or teacher.

♥  Let them know you’re thinking of them by popping round their house spontaneously, you could even take some flowers as a little pick me up. A lovely thing I recently came across is something called a buddy box, you can send them to someone who’s going through a rough time or even buy them for yourself. There full of little cute and comforting things, which they call a hug in a box. You can find out more about that here (https://www.blurtitout.org/). Sometimes when your feeling low and happiness seems a distant memory a little thing like that can mean so much. Even if it’s just for a moment, they will feel so grateful and happy to have you in their life.

♥  Send them a positive quote, I love a good quote and they’re everywhere on the internet. It sounds cheesy I know, but I could really relate to some of them when I was struggling. It can help you see things in a positive light for a change and give someone a different way of thinking about their situation.

At the end of the day you aren’t that persons carer and they don’t expect you to dedicate all your time and self to making them better. Only they can do that. I think some of these are a lovely way to make a gesture to show your there for them in that time of need.

 Keep smiling,

Anna

♥

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If OCD Was A Person

I have been struggling with my OCD recently, which means I have been talking to people around me about it and explaining how I feel a lot. Which is a positive thing to do, bottling up your feelings won’t do you any good. Sometimes however people don’t understand how something mental inside your head, can cause someone so much distress and control them so much. It was then I decided to explain what OCD would be like as a person. This gave me the idea for today’s blog post. I thought it might help people who don’t understand the mental struggles  we go through, or can’t quite see why we can’t just ignore it. Maybe putting it into a human form of what OCD is like to us, inside our heads will help them picture it. Of course OCD isn’t another being. It is apart of our brains but it can really feel like there’s an evil being in our heads controlling us. OCD can be so dark it can feel as if it couldn’t possibly be apart of your own brain. Which is why thinking of it as a being who is causing you to suffer, can help you and others see it for what it is. A bully.

OCD makes people believe they are in constant danger, and need to perform mental or physical compulsions, if they don’t something awful will happen. E.g ‘if I don’t do such and such, someone I love will die’. Eventually someones whole day can be filled with unwanted compulsions, because the thoughts that something will happen are so strong. It can also twist someones thoughts and emotions so much so, that they don’t even know who they are anymore. If they stop questioning the thoughts how will they ever know if they mean something about their core self, or if they are real thoughts they enjoy. E.g A gory image pops into their head, it terrifies them and makes them question what if I could do that said image to someone’. This fills them with such distress, they won’t stop analysing and running over the thoughts in their head for hours a day. They believe these thoughts that most people don’t even notice, mean there a murderer or psychopath. They live in fear of themselves when they have always been a good person.

So what would OCD be like if it was a human….

Picture a tall, dark person, the kind of person or being that would intimidate even the strongest and bravest of people. At the start of meeting them it would almost be as if they are there to keep you safe, ‘If you do what I say, nothing bad will happen’. Why wouldn’t you listen to them when they tell you it’s for yours and everyone elses benefit, there, there to help you see danger. They are also really good at convincing you, that YOU are the bad person here, not them. You NEED them. They are so good at twisting things, and making you believe you truly are an awful human being or that you never really knew who you were without them.

After a while, you realise your being controlled and manipulated, the person is just trying to break you down and control your every being, it started out small and now you can’t do anything without them interfering. They are stripping you of your life, you’re their prisoner. They are so good at manipulating you and torturing you with vivid scenarios of what will happen if you don’t do what they say or if they leave your life, its impossible not to listen. Picture the evil kind of person who feeds of people’s distress and lives for the control they have over someone. When you try to go against them and leave, the manipulating gets worse, they are so good at guilt tripping you and the fear they make you feel is so strong. They have the power to make you feel so hopeless, worthless, alone, controlled, scared and depressed.

That’s OCD.

Happy New Year to you all,

Anna

♥

 

 

 

 

It Might Not Be A Good Day, But Have A Day

When suffering with depression getting through the day feels like running a marathon, it’s draining. You feel physically exhausted, let alone the mental battle you go through, the guilt of feeling like you’re just lazy, the feelings of wanting to totally give up, I could go on. If you’ve  made it through another day suffering with depression, OCD, anxiety or any mental illness, give yourself a pat on the back. Stop being so hard on yourself for not having the most productive day that you feel you SHOULD have had or everyone else is having or asking of you . Even if you’re not suffering with depression and you’re simply having an awful day,, where events have happened so you feel upset and unable to take on the day, this still applies to you.

You might have days where you feel better  and that’s amazing treasure those, but don’t let the bad days take those away from you. I love this quote so much at the start of my mental health journey the good days were few, and I was always being told by people ‘do this and do that, it will help you get better, it will be a positive thing’. When you have depression the simplest thing to a healthy happy person seem like such massive task. So as the quote says I won’t tell you to have a good day but please look after yourself as best as you can.

The first thing I’d say is,  if you think you or someone else is suffering with depression then get them or yourself help, that’s the biggest step to getting better. You need to find someone to speak to and someone who can advise you on the best ways to help yourself get better whether that’s medication, therapy,  or both. If you don’t think you have depression and you’re just feeling down because of a negative event, or your just not feeling yourself, make sure you find someone to talk to aswell, venting and getting advice of a loved ones is always a good idea.

Now you’ve done that the next most important thing is to feed and water yourself as obvious as that sounds. As I said above the simplest of things can become a huge effort when your suffering with a mental illness and some people neglect themselves of the most basic things. Your body needs food and plenty of water, so if there’s one thing I insist you do it’s that. I’m not asking you to be a chef and cook up amazing nutritious meals (although nutritious food is known to help a blue mood)  but you need to eat and drink whether you feel like it or not.

So you’ve gotten help, you know there’s a problem and you’ve acknowledge that, that’s a big step. You’re feeding yourself because that’s a basic human need whether you’re suffering or not, that’s another step, even if these are your first achievements you feel able to do currently then that’s great. No matter how small the steps or achievements they are still positive and thats all that matters. If you’ve done those above things the next thing to try to do is clean yourself,  I’d recommend running a hot bubble bath that you can just lay in and get clean then put some clean comfy clothes on, you’ll feel so much better for it once it’s done. It’s another positive basic human need to achieve when having ‘your day’. The final thing on your list of goals for the day is to survive and not give up. Keep fighting through those awful days like I did, it can get better.

“It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop – Confucius”

If you have a day where you get up shower, eat, go to therapy, go to work and get something productive done then amazing be really proud. If the next day all you do is feed yourself  because you’re having a bad day and your mental health is bad then that’s fine to, your mental health comes first, never beat yourself up for this. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed or taken a step back it means your surviving you’re doing what you have to, to get through the days. Recovery and getting better is not plain sailing, for a long time It felt as if I would never get better, and then just when I thought things seemed to be looking positive the next day it would all come crumbling down. Please don’t see this as failing everyday is a building block to recovery good or bad. I’m not saying settle for a life of doing the bare minimum always, I’m saying be proud of the little things you achieve when your suffering, that its ok and you don’t need to beat yourself up, but of course always strive to get better and don’t give up.  For some people with mild depression they may be able to function almost normally, for others it will feel almost impossible, everyone is different and it’s important not to make yourself feel bad for how you’re coping.

Please check out my other mental health blog posts for more self-help and information.

Need someone to talk to? Look in the contact me section, I’m all ears.

Hang in there,

Anna-Marie

♥

Hope For OCD, Anxiety And Depression Sufferers

Calling all OCD, Anxiety and Depression sufferers, or anyone suffering with a mental illness, who feels as if they are at the end of their tether and there is no hope in them ever getting better. (Insert dramatic music) I am here to let you know why this is not true and I have bought PROOF…(myself).

So, I have some pretty big news, I have just got a job!

I haven’t held down a job since I left school and my last job was in 2011. I’d go into a job or college course and end up quitting because I couldn’t seem to hack it, my brain and body just didn’t seem to cope with normal life, that also goes for going out and having fun to. During school and since leaving school I have suffered with severe debilitating OCD, Anxiety and Depression, check out my OCD Story and Depression Story for a more indepth insight. OCD took over my life, I was suffering with terrifying intrusive thoughts and had lost all independence due to compulsions. I was at rock bottom. I remember thinking I would never get better, this was my life now, I didn’t see how I’d possibly become OCD free or even manage it to the point life was bearable.

I had various CBT therapy sessions during this time and also started medication (Sertraline) an antidepressant which I am still on now. It wasn’t until I found a therapy that worked for me in 2014 that I started to see hope for myself. You can also read about my therapy story to find out more on that. I started to fight OCD and my depression seemed to no longer be a constant black cloud over me. Since having therapy, I have started my blog and started to recover, but a job has been the biggest thing for me and my family, I still needed to achieve. Sometimes I thought I was ready and even had interviews, other times my OCD seemed to be creeping back in so I was focused on that. Since leaving school I haven’t had much of a social life which means my confidence is pretty low. Suffering with mental health problems can also send your self esteem to its lowest point, this also played a part in my fear of getting a job. I will admit I did get comfortable, I was in my comfort zone and I had got lazy. On top of that I was just terrified of working again and putting myself back out there, after the stress and hurt I went through of quitting and feeling like a failure after every job.

I can finally say I have a job after 4 years. I am terrified I won’t lie. I have thought about ringing up and saying that I change my mind about accepting the job, but I’m not going to. I will do it this time. I will be successful, it might not be easy and I’m sure there will be days where I struggle but I feel positive and happy, that this is the start of something for me. Which leads me back to there being hope for suffers like myself. I didn’t think I would get to this point whether it be getting a job, living with OCD but managing it or not being completely depressed and never wanting to do anything ever. I had such severe OCD It didn’t seem possible but it is. Am I completely anxiety and OCD free? No definitely not, but I’m not imprisoned by thoughts and compulsions like I was.  Which means you reading this or your friend or family member can also get to this point with the right help, support and patience. Please never give up because you can fight this to. I was in your position, I know how it feels. I know you feel like giving up but you can’t. There is hope and there can be freedom.

I can’t tell you when you will recover and I won’t tell you it won’t be hard. You might relapse but that’s okay, because once you’ve got there, it will be worth it and you will see how strong you are.

Keep on fighting,

Anna

♥

A Day In The Life Of Someone With OCD

Yesterday it felt as if my world suddenly stopped as I was putting some washing on. I mean my mind is always full of little anxiety attacks of “Don’t do that or (blank) will happen” “Do this or (blank) will happen” but I’ve learnt to shrug them off. This felt different, this felt HUGE, it felt so real I can’t even begin to explain, it felt so certain. “If you put this washing on, you won’t be safe” the OCD part of my brain whispered. I thought to myself “I know this isn’t real, its OCD Anna, don’t listen” I went to put some more washing into the washing machine. OCD whispered louder this time “What if its real, what if this terrible thing really will happen Anna?” I stopped, my heart pumping harder now, OCD took over my brain and filled it with terrifying images of what felt like was my fate if I didn’t listen to it. It happens so fast its uncontrollable, it’s like I’m looking into a crystal ball of my future. I felt as if my whole body and mind were consumed with fear. I was frozen to the spot. I started to barter with my rational self and my OCD “Shall I listen or shall I not?” “NO ANNA, STOP IT, THIS IS OCD” my own conscious self shouted within my brain. “How can washing possibly make something bad happen, it can’t, you know it can’t” I carried on thinking to myself,  “but what if” OCD would reply.

OCD wasn’t letting up it felt as if it was to forcing waves of anxiety over me every time I tried to rationalize my thoughts. I managed to switch the washing machine on and for a little bit I almost felt like I’d made the right choice but OCD was about to give me an ultimatum. It was going to try barter with me now, I hadn’t abided by it and lets just say OCD gets really angry when I don’t. More anxiety flooded over me, more images and more thoughts about this terrible thing happening. I was in panic mode. “Re wash your clothes and maybe you’ll be safe” OCD said as if it was doing me a favour.I sat down where I was stood in the kitchen, I needed to sit down and try to work out what to do, try to sort through all the thoughts rushing around my brain. “Shall I re wash the washing?” “What if the thoughts come true?” “No Anna this is OCD, don’t give in it only makes it worse!!”. All these thoughts bumping into to each other one after the other in my head. The thing is with OCD it wants you to suffer really, it makes out it wants to keep you safe but really it wants to make us prisoners in our own minds, it wants us to live in fear.

It was about to corner me so there was nowhere to run or hide, I was going to be stuck. “If you re-wash the clothes, something bad will happen to someone else, if you don’t it will happen to you'” I began to cry, there was no way out of this. Either way I turned filled me with anxiety if I left the clothes I felt terrified for myself, If I re washed them I felt terrified for a loved one. My heart sank as I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, still sitting on the kitchen floor. I felt so scared and frustrated but also complete and utter hate towards my own brain. I kept reminding myself I was being stupid that nothing could happen because I didn’t partake in a compulsion but all I’d do is doubt that statement. I sat for a couple of hours in the same spot running over the events in my mind, trying to work out whether to re-wash some clothes or leave them. “How can something so insignificant create so much pain, I’m so pathetic” I thought, my heart sank even further, so far it felt as if it was in my stomach.

“Do what you’d do if you didn’t have OCD Anna, you wouldn’t re wash the clothes, you’d wash them once and not even give it a second thought” I tried to reassure myself, but the anxiety wasn’t letting up I thought about the consequences of not re washing it. “Maybe I should just re wash them, what’s the harm if it makes you feel better” my mind turned to the other consequences of my loved ones. I felt as if anything I done at this point until I’d decided about the clothes would also be bad, I didn’t want to take a shower because if I decided to re wash the clothes, I’d also have to take another shower, some how this felt right in my head. I knew it wasn’t logical or didn’t make any sense if I was to say it out loud or try to explain. I was now in OCD’s bubble, prisoned in my own brain, thinking over and over and over about what to do for best but also trying so hard to rationalize the fear and thoughts I was experiencing.

I managed to get up and take a bath crying as I did because it felt so wrong not having made a decision about the clothes, but I had to get ready to go to my dads. I was dressed, I had my make-up on this had sort of taken me out of the bubble and more into reality. Messaging someone on my phone and being in another environment (my dads house) also seemed be taking my mind off it a little, I could feel the fear and thoughts lurking in the back of my mind but I didn’t feel so distressed. I debated throughout the evening whether to text my mum asking her to put my clothes on for a re-wash. Every time I typed it out, I deleted it again as anxiety would stop me and thoughts about me being selfish for re washing the clothes when the consequences would be directed towards my family.  I  flitted back and forth “Do I, don’t I?”. It had been almost 7 hours and I was still thinking about it all and I was still scared.

I arrived home and I had the idea in my head that I’d leave the decision until the morning, maybe then my mind would be clearer or maybe I would wake up and the anxiety would have decreased. Even though I’d sort of made this decision I still did’t stop thinking about if I should or shouldn’t re-wash the clothes, OCD wasn’t about to let up just because I’d decided to wait until the morning. I was right, OCD wasn’t going to stop there, it decided to throw another curve ball to torture me some more ‘You HAVE to make you decision before tomorrow, after that re-washing the clothes wouldn’t even count’. OCD always tries to match your intelligence, it will always find a way to catch your rational mind out, just when you think you’ve found an answer to the problem, it comes and creates a new problem.

I went into the utility room and sat down by the washing machine and cried. “A whole day ruined by putting some washing on, you’re stupid Anna, you’re pathetic” I told myself. My mum came in and tried to reason with me and help me, she’s seen me this way many of times. It wasn’t working, by this point  rationalizing with me wasn’t going to work, I was terrified and frantically trying to work out what to do in my head. I was well and truly in OCD’s bubble. “Come on Anna, go to bed and figure it out in morning, you can’t sit down here all night or at least relax in bed whilst trying to work out what to do” My mum said comfortingly. I responded angrily, I was so stuck in my brain that there was going to be no getting through to me.

I was alone now and it was 11 pm, sitting by a washing machine crying like a crazy person. I had to do something, I had to. I grabbed the washed and dried clothes and stuffed them into the washing machine, I poured out the washing powder and shut the washing machine door. I felt sick, “Is this the right thing to do” I questioned myself. I stopped. OCD whispered “What if it’s a test, what if you selfishly re-wash your clothes to feel less scared for yourself, which will put your loved ones in danger, but doing this will cause you to be at harm for being selfish and looking after yourself”. I broke down in more floods of tears. “Your selfish Anna” I thought to myself. I couldn’t do it I couldn’t re wash the clothes no matter how scared I was. Although I had made my decision the fear didn’t go away and neither did the thoughts.

Its 8.30 pm the next day and I’m here writing this still in fear of yesterdays decision. I’ve had moments of clarity where I feel ok and moments where I’m crying, but I am still fighting even though I am mentally exhausted and if you have OCD, you have to as well, we can’t let OCD win, your not alone in what your facing.

This is what its like to suffer with OCD.

Disclaimer: This is all real events told exactly when and how it was. Not all OCD sufferers face the same symptoms and types but this gives you an insight to the thought process and how distressing OCD can be.

Stay Strong,

Anna

♥

Update: Where Have I Been?

Why hello there my lovely readers, long time no blog post, its been far too long!

This blog post is simply going to be a little update of whats gone on since I last wrote and also explaining a little bit about whats going on with me and why I haven’t been around! Since my last blog post I turned 21, so its official  I am a legal adult in every country. I had a lovely Birthday where I felt extremely spoilt, loved and grateful to have such amazing family around me. I received so many amazing gifts and went for my first ever wagamama’s which I can confirm lived up to its hype. The famous katsu curry was delicious and the katsu banana with salted caramel ice-cream pudding was perfection to say the least. Not only that I then got taken out again, this time for afternoon tea for the first time, with my mum.

So why haven’t I written a blog post in so long? I think that’s due to a number of things, let me try to explain the best I can without giving away too many personal details. I hadn’t realized until recently how disconnected I had become to everything around me and it’s hit me hard realizing what I’ve become like. I’ve become self-destructive, lazy, depressive and someone I don’t like very much, a tired, negative and depressed girl who stopped taking care of herself. I’ve been in my own little world and not a positive one. I became uninterested in blogging and most other things around me. Blogging has been one extremely positive thing I’ve kept going until recently and I miss it. I miss channeling my creative thoughts, communicating within the blogging community and doing something I enjoy, but temporarily forgot I did. I want to better myself now and return to reality as I feel like I’ve been running away from my problems, saying I’m trying, saying tomorrow or next week or next month I will try to sort my self out, when in reality for the last 5 years I’ve been saying the exact same thing.

Instead of my OCD being the problem or my anxiety, I had just become self-destructive in many areas of my life that I hadn’t noticed until recently when it’s all hit me and I’ve had some home truths from people around me. Even writing this post I can feel my eyes filling with tears because I feel like I’ve been so lost and still am but finally realizing this and taking steps to better myself. Its upsetting me realizing how vacant I’ve been, living a life that is mainly on my computer and slowly self-destructing and losing my self-worth on a downward spiral. Its like I stopped caring about looking after myself.

I suppose we all lose ourselves sometimes and until we realize we have, we can’t change. If you are feeling lost in life like me, please know that you are not alone and you can and will find yourself just like I will soon. No more negativity, I can and will find myself this time, as can you, you just have to believe. I’ve stopped brushing everything that’s wrong with my life under the carpet now, and if you know you’re struggling you have to as well. Just know that it may hurt and be hard to deal with thinking about, accepting and acknowledging these problems you’re facing and changes you need to make but once you’ve done that you can finally start to heal and take steps to change just as I am. If anyone is struggling and feeling lost always feel free to contact me via my Tumblr ask box – anonymous or not, my Facebook Page or my twitter, all links will be below. Your not alone, I am here for you and will support you.

I’m ready to start making changes now, are you?

I’m back ready to blog, I don’t know if anyone actually noticed I was gone but I want to thank any of my followers and new followers who have stuck around even though I have failed to write recently.

http://stressesanddresses.tumblr.com/

https://twitter.com/annaacarter

https://www.facebook.com/StressesAndDressesBlog

Stay strong,

Anna

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What Not To Say To Someone Suffering With OCD, Anxiety & Depression And Why

When suffering with a mental illness it can sometimes feel very lonely as if no one understands what you’re going through. Added to that there’s still a slight stigma when it comes to mental health problems and a ton of misconceptions surrounding different mental illnesses. Being a sufferer of OCD, Anxiety and Depression there’s nothing more frustrating than knowing what suffering with one of these illnesses is like, then having people making jokes or comments regarding your mental illness, that are far from helpful or factual.

I thought for this blog post I’d share some of the worst things to say to someone suffering with OCD, Anxiety and Depression. I took to a OCD forum to ask for people’s examples to add to my own, of things they’ve had said to them and the comments came flooding in. A lot of the time due to misconceptions people don’t even realise what there saying is factually incorrect and offensive to a sufferer. Not only will this spread awareness on this subject, but I think a lot of people will relate to this and realise they’re not the only person who experience this. It’s not about treading on eggshells when it comes to someone suffering it’s about making sure that comment you don’t give a second thought is not only factually correct but helpful and not hurtful to someone.

‘You know it’s all in your head so just stop!!’

This is one that’s quite often said to OCD sufferers when struggling with OCD’s symptoms, such as when a sufferer is resisting to perform a certain compulsion, because they think something terrible will happen. No matter if you know what you’re experiencing is OCD or know it sounds silly, it’s not as simple as just stopping. People with OCD have vivid thoughts, questions, feelings and images followed by a great deal of fear and doubt. No one would ever suffer with mental illness if it was as simple as just stopping. Trust me if we could just stop, we would.

‘Oh you have OCD? I bet your house is tidy!!’

This is a very big misconception about OCD. Yes people with OCD can have really tidy houses, but many people with OCD have normal, untidy and disorganised houses. OCD is not just a cleaning disorder, there’s many symptoms and types.

‘But you’re so pretty/handsome and you have so much going for you and so much to live for, you shouldn’t be depressed!’

The thing is you don’t choose to be depressed, you can be the best looking, richest and most successful human being ever and depression can take a hold of you. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain, being pretty or having so many great things going for you, doesn’t equal happiness unfortunately. Thanks to life events, lack of self-worth and brain chemistry, depression can grip anyone.

‘I think everyone has a little bit of OCD’

No, not everybody has a bit of OCD, OCD is a diagnosed disorder which you either have or don’t. People might be perfectionists, habitual or like to do things or have things in a certain way but this doesn’t mean someone has a little bit of OCD. Unless you have thoughts and feelings that make you feel the NEED to certain things to prevent something bad from happening, it’s probably not OCD.

 ‘I would never go on medication if I had depression, I’d just try to get better by myself’

Everyone is different and you may not need to go on medication and be able to recover from depression with counselling or therapy’s. A lot of people however medication helps a lot. Whether someone does or doesn’t take medication doesn’t make them any stronger or weaker, it also depends on the severity of the depression. If it helps you, then that’s all that matters. People are often afraid to admit they take medication in fear they will be seen as weak, comments like this reinforce this.

‘ Oh I know how you feel when it comes to feeling depressed, last week I was so depressed, I couldn’t stop crying about stuff’

Having a off week or a week where you feel down, low or cry a lot isn’t depression. If that mood persists for weeks and months, to the point your life is being significantly effected, that’s depression.

 ‘I’d love to be OCD then maybe I’d be more organised and my house would be tidy!’

 Trust me, you wouldn’t love OCD, it’s a serious debilitating illness that tears a lives apart. Again the cleaning misconception, there is more to OCD than cleaning. No one with OCD ever enjoys what they do or loves it.

‘Just get out more, have some fun, chill out then maybe you will feel better and less depressed’

 I know people say this to try be helpful but in all honestly it makes you feel worse. When your suffering with Depression you already don’t understand why you no longer feel like going out and having fun.  Asking yourself questions such as ‘what’s wrong with me?’ or ‘why am i like this?’ Unfortunately it’s not as simple as just getting out more, you feel like you mentally and physically can’t find the motivation to do the smallest things and having fun, no longer feels fun but an effort.

 ‘ All people who self harm are attention seekers’

 Many people who self harm live in silence and hide the fact that they do. It’s hard to understand, I get that. The thing is with self harm its a way of expressing what your feeling on the inside on the outside. There are many reasons people self harm and whether someone is doing it as a cry for help or doing it as a release and then hiding it, it should be taken seriously, the person is clearly in a lot of pain mentally, feels alone and needs help not judgement.

 ‘ You can’t just take days off work all the time, i couldn’t afford to do that!’ or ‘ You have to work, no one wants to but its something you have to do, so get a job’

The problem is when suffering with depression you literally feel as if you CANT find the energy or motivation to do the smallest things or the fun things in life, let alone go to work. If you have severe depression, needing money can’t change how you feel. A sufferer will already feel bad about not holding down a job, ashamed that they can’t and like they’re lazy or pathetic. Which is why saying these things wont help it simply confirms all the negative thoughts and feelings that person is having about themselves.

‘There is people a lot worse of than you and they still work and cope with life’

This sort of response when your suffering with a mental illness is really hard to hear. A lot of people suffering with mental illness already have very low self-worth and saying this sort of thing only makes it worse. They probably know there are people worse off, but it doesn’t make how they feel any less or better, it doesn’t make their problems go away. People  will already feel bad, ashamed and upset about how they feel, this is the last thing they wants to hear.

‘I just organised my DVDs in colour order, I’m so OCD’

Another classic comment when the word OCD is misused. Organising your DVDs in a certain order or whatever it may be, along with wanting to clean and do something a certain way, isn’t OCD. Unless the reason you done it was for things to ‘feel right’ or stop something bad from happening such as a thought coming true.

‘Just snap out of it’ or ‘You need a reality check’

You can tell someone with a mental illness to snap out of it or get a reality check as much as you like, because you care, want them to get better or want to shock them into getting better, but it won’t happen. You cannot snap out of a mental illness, if only you could! People with mental illness such as OCD, Depression and Anxiety are well aware that they’re lives are not like the average person. They are in touch with reality but have a mental illness preventing them to be exactly like the average person, they will be just as upset about it as you are.

I really could go on and on with examples and explanations as to why these comments can be annoying, unhelpful or are not factual. I hope this spreads awareness, and helps people who maybe didn’t understand or realise why it is so frustrating to hear these things be said over and over again.

What are you experiences with this subject?

Stay strong,

Anna

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February Beauty Favourites

It’s a new month which means, February beauty favourites blog post! The time where I gather up my favourite products of the month and share them all with you lovely people, so let’s get started!

Face

1. Benefit Hoola Bronzer

I’ve never been much of a bronzer girl, I always contour to slim my chubby cheeks down but It’s just not something I’ve ever felt like buying a high-end version of. It’s a lovely colour, not too orange but not to brown toned. Whether you’re a bronzer girl, contour girl or both, this is perfect for all.

2. Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer

If you haven’t heard of this concealer yet, then you’re clearly not a blog reader or avid YouTube watcher like me. It’s probably one of the most talked about drugstore concealers ever. I stopped using this for a while and I don’t know why, It gives such good coverage and not only that its super affordable. I don’t use this under my eyes because I think it’s a bit too heavy for such a delicate area. Why spend out when you can find such an amazing drugstore concealer.

3. Rimmel Stay Matte Pressed Powder

Another very talked about product on blogs and Youtube. This is a lovely drugstore powder, I have the shade ‘Sandstorm’ which is perfect for me. This powder can look really natural on the skin, it gives you a little coverage, is super affordable and sets your make up in place. Job well done.

4. L’Oreal Lumi Magique Concealer

Another amazing drugstore product. This is my favourite under eye concealer at the moment, It’s not too heavy for the delicate under eye area,  gives coverage and highlights. This can also be used to highlight cheek bones, brow bones and the cupids bow.

5. Mac Mebla Blush

This is my go to blusher. Its one of MACs very well-known blushes and I can see why. I think it’s a shade that would suit many skin tones, it’s a soft coral peach. It’s such a wearable shade and gives you a warm peachy complexion to your cheeks.

Eyes

1. Maybelline Falsies Mascara

This is one of my favourite drugstore mascaras ever. It’s so easy to work with, you don’t have to apply layers and layers to get full long lashes. Two coats and my lashes have a lot of volume and length. I can’t speak highly enough about this mascara, try it!

2. & 4. Max Factor Excess Shimmer Eyeshadow

The thing that I was most drawn to about these eyeshadows where the fact they reminded me of the Maybelline Colour Tattoo Eyeshadows, not only that but these two gorgeous shades Bronze and Copper. They are a strange mousse-like creamy consistency and I love these used all over the eyelid paired with other shadows in the crease or used together. I have noticed some creasing after a long time wearing these alone on the eye lid, but all in all I really do love the shades and look of these on the eyes.

3. MAC Quad & Eyeshadows

From left to right, Shroom, Woodwinked, Wedge and Swiss Chocolate.

These are my first ever eyeshadows by MAC and I love creating looks with this quad. MAC describes shroom as a soft beige with shimmer, woodwinked as a warm antiqued gold, Wedge as a soft muted beige taupe and Swiss Chocolate as a muted reddish-brown. They all work together so well to create different looks, from day time natural looks to smokey looks. Although, I’m really unimpressed with Wedge, getting the swatch above was nearly impossible, I’m not sure if I just got a dodgy one.

Lips

1. & 2. MAC Lip Pencil (Stripdown) & MAC Lipstick (Honey Love)

 This has been currently favourite nude lip pencil and lipstick combo. In the picture above Stripdown looks a lot browner than it is and it looks very different on the lips. MAC describes Stripdown lip pencil as a creamy brown-beige, and Honey Love lipstick as a matte light beige tone with rose. It’s a very different shade nude to what I’ve had before as its more beige toned rather peachy toned, but it’s really grown on me and it’s quite moisturising for a matte lipstick.

2. Nuxe Reve De Miel Lipbalm

This is my all time favourite lip balm. Its one of the best lip balms you will ever try, it is a pricey £9.50 but I think it’s worth every penny. I apply this once before I do my makeup and once before bed and I never need to re apply it through out the day, unless my lips are particularly dry. I find some lip balms are moisturising whilst sitting on your lips, but once its worn off you need to re apply it. This is a thick, citrus scented and extremely hydrating lip balm. If you have chapped lips, this is your new best friend, you wont regret it.

3. MAC Lipstick (Crosswires)

Crosswires and Honey Love have both been my go to lipsticks in the month of February and I don’t see that changing any time soon. MAC describes this as a clean pinky orange. The formula of this is a creme sheen, which is MACS creamiest and most moisturising formula, which is why this lipstick is so comfortable to wear. It’s the perfect in-between bright and nude shade. Perfect for everyday wear.

Have tried any of these products?

Let me know in the comments one of your February favourites!

Anna

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Decorating My Room | Ideas & Plans

In November me and my family moved from our house we’d been in for almost 7 years! The new house is somewhat old-fashioned when it comes to the decorating which means everything’s going to be decorated to our tastes. For someone like me who loves browsing home ware shops and buying home ware items this is prime opportunity for me to do both those things. My room as it is, isn’t to bad it has quaint floral wallpaper and fairly neutral paint and carpet.

I cannot wait to get fully stuck in and decorate my room with my taste in decor. I’d say my taste is a mixture of kitsch, anything cute, quirky or involving woodland animals. I also love the retro come modern look, with a hint of Scandinavian. I love scouring magazines and the internet for inspiration and home ware items, so I thought why not share my plans for my bedroom with you. Then when it’s all decorated show a before and after! Some of the products featured in this post I have already purchased ready for when my rooms decorated, others are things I would like to purchase and possibly add into my room, along with many other beautiful things I’ve found.

As you can see the colours I want to incorporate into my room are white, a mustardy, greeny yellow, light grey and dark grey. I’ve been seeing this yellow colour everywhere at the moment and I love how it looks, I think its perfect for a retro and Scandinavian room. It’s something quite different for me, as I’ve always gone for classic girly colours like pinks, purples as an accent colour in my rooms, but my style has changed a lot as I’ve gotten older.

I won’t be painting any walls in this shade instead I want to bring it in with accessories. I bought this gorgeous duvet set which you can see in the picture above or below. Its two-sided so you can mix it up and has  multiple patterns on it such scalloped lines and tiny flowers on it with all the colours I like, its perfect. I received  the panda cushion above for Christmas and I can’t wait to put it on my bed, not only is it cute, its quirky and his yellow bow tie goes perfect. I love the lampshade above it has a cut out pattern and copper on the inside. Copper is a big trend when it comes to home ware at the moment, and I’m a little obsessed. The bedside table above is simple and practical. Its got wire tidies up the legs of it, a shelf inside and its narrow which saves space!

I have bought two of these tri pod style lamps for my bedside tables, I love this style of lamp at the moment and the colour is again perfect.

Links

Bedding
Panda Cushion
Lampshade
Bedside Table
Chest Of Draws
Tripod Lamp

Becuase my room is bigger than my old one, I’ve finally been able to have a dressing table. I wanted a retro one and was lucky my Nan no longer wanted her retro G-Plan one. I love the style and I’m planning on painting it white or light grey with darker grey drawes and changing the handles, I’ve been eyeing up some of the copper ones on Anthropologie.

 I want to create a wall of quirky prints and different shape and style photo frames like the copper ones above. Which leads me on to the fox and alpaca prints above, I find them way too amusing and really like the look of them, I also received these for Christmas. The next two items are the Peg Boards, I love the concept of these but can’t decide between the yellow or white, there just a board with holes for little wooden peg like things, you put into the holes to hang things off. I want to hang this by my dressing table and hang all my necklaces and bits on there.

Another item which I think would look lovely on my dressing table is the copper tray with perfumes displayed on there. As I’ve said I’m rather fond of quirky things, which is probably why I like this succulent pineapple plant pot, I think its different and a great way to display a succulent. I would love to have some shelves where I can put this sort of thing on display, along with things like the Copper A, or candles in the white candle holders above, along with all my other decorative accessories.

Links

Photo Frames
Copper A
Candle Holders
Copper Tray
Fox Print
Alpaca Print
Peg Board Yellow
Peg Board White
Pineapple Plant Pot

I could go on forever adding things I am thinking of buying but I didn’t want to bore you or make this post too long. There so much I want to buy and do to my room and really create a space I love.

What do you think of my bedroom ideas? Let me know in the comments!

Anna
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