It Might Not Be A Good Day, But Have A Day

When suffering with depression getting through the day feels like running a marathon, it’s draining. You feel physically exhausted, let alone the mental battle you go through, the guilt of feeling like you’re just lazy, the feelings of wanting to totally give up, I could go on. If you’ve  made it through another day suffering with depression, OCD, anxiety or any mental illness, give yourself a pat on the back. Stop being so hard on yourself for not having the most productive day that you feel you SHOULD have had or everyone else is having or asking of you . Even if you’re not suffering with depression and you’re simply having an awful day,, where events have happened so you feel upset and unable to take on the day, this still applies to you.

You might have days where you feel better  and that’s amazing treasure those, but don’t let the bad days take those away from you. I love this quote so much at the start of my mental health journey the good days were few, and I was always being told by people ‘do this and do that, it will help you get better, it will be a positive thing’. When you have depression the simplest thing to a healthy happy person seem like such massive task. So as the quote says I won’t tell you to have a good day but please look after yourself as best as you can.

The first thing I’d say is,  if you think you or someone else is suffering with depression then get them or yourself help, that’s the biggest step to getting better. You need to find someone to speak to and someone who can advise you on the best ways to help yourself get better whether that’s medication, therapy,  or both. If you don’t think you have depression and you’re just feeling down because of a negative event, or your just not feeling yourself, make sure you find someone to talk to aswell, venting and getting advice of a loved ones is always a good idea.

Now you’ve done that the next most important thing is to feed and water yourself as obvious as that sounds. As I said above the simplest of things can become a huge effort when your suffering with a mental illness and some people neglect themselves of the most basic things. Your body needs food and plenty of water, so if there’s one thing I insist you do it’s that. I’m not asking you to be a chef and cook up amazing nutritious meals (although nutritious food is known to help a blue mood)  but you need to eat and drink whether you feel like it or not.

So you’ve gotten help, you know there’s a problem and you’ve acknowledge that, that’s a big step. You’re feeding yourself because that’s a basic human need whether you’re suffering or not, that’s another step, even if these are your first achievements you feel able to do currently then that’s great. No matter how small the steps or achievements they are still positive and thats all that matters. If you’ve done those above things the next thing to try to do is clean yourself,  I’d recommend running a hot bubble bath that you can just lay in and get clean then put some clean comfy clothes on, you’ll feel so much better for it once it’s done. It’s another positive basic human need to achieve when having ‘your day’. The final thing on your list of goals for the day is to survive and not give up. Keep fighting through those awful days like I did, it can get better.

“It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop – Confucius”

If you have a day where you get up shower, eat, go to therapy, go to work and get something productive done then amazing be really proud. If the next day all you do is feed yourself  because you’re having a bad day and your mental health is bad then that’s fine to, your mental health comes first, never beat yourself up for this. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed or taken a step back it means your surviving you’re doing what you have to, to get through the days. Recovery and getting better is not plain sailing, for a long time It felt as if I would never get better, and then just when I thought things seemed to be looking positive the next day it would all come crumbling down. Please don’t see this as failing everyday is a building block to recovery good or bad. I’m not saying settle for a life of doing the bare minimum always, I’m saying be proud of the little things you achieve when your suffering, that its ok and you don’t need to beat yourself up, but of course always strive to get better and don’t give up.  For some people with mild depression they may be able to function almost normally, for others it will feel almost impossible, everyone is different and it’s important not to make yourself feel bad for how you’re coping.

Please check out my other mental health blog posts for more self-help and information.

Need someone to talk to? Look in the contact me section, I’m all ears.

Hang in there,

Anna-Marie

♥

Update: Where Have I Been?

Why hello there my lovely readers, long time no blog post, its been far too long!

This blog post is simply going to be a little update of whats gone on since I last wrote and also explaining a little bit about whats going on with me and why I haven’t been around! Since my last blog post I turned 21, so its official  I am a legal adult in every country. I had a lovely Birthday where I felt extremely spoilt, loved and grateful to have such amazing family around me. I received so many amazing gifts and went for my first ever wagamama’s which I can confirm lived up to its hype. The famous katsu curry was delicious and the katsu banana with salted caramel ice-cream pudding was perfection to say the least. Not only that I then got taken out again, this time for afternoon tea for the first time, with my mum.

So why haven’t I written a blog post in so long? I think that’s due to a number of things, let me try to explain the best I can without giving away too many personal details. I hadn’t realized until recently how disconnected I had become to everything around me and it’s hit me hard realizing what I’ve become like. I’ve become self-destructive, lazy, depressive and someone I don’t like very much, a tired, negative and depressed girl who stopped taking care of herself. I’ve been in my own little world and not a positive one. I became uninterested in blogging and most other things around me. Blogging has been one extremely positive thing I’ve kept going until recently and I miss it. I miss channeling my creative thoughts, communicating within the blogging community and doing something I enjoy, but temporarily forgot I did. I want to better myself now and return to reality as I feel like I’ve been running away from my problems, saying I’m trying, saying tomorrow or next week or next month I will try to sort my self out, when in reality for the last 5 years I’ve been saying the exact same thing.

Instead of my OCD being the problem or my anxiety, I had just become self-destructive in many areas of my life that I hadn’t noticed until recently when it’s all hit me and I’ve had some home truths from people around me. Even writing this post I can feel my eyes filling with tears because I feel like I’ve been so lost and still am but finally realizing this and taking steps to better myself. Its upsetting me realizing how vacant I’ve been, living a life that is mainly on my computer and slowly self-destructing and losing my self-worth on a downward spiral. Its like I stopped caring about looking after myself.

I suppose we all lose ourselves sometimes and until we realize we have, we can’t change. If you are feeling lost in life like me, please know that you are not alone and you can and will find yourself just like I will soon. No more negativity, I can and will find myself this time, as can you, you just have to believe. I’ve stopped brushing everything that’s wrong with my life under the carpet now, and if you know you’re struggling you have to as well. Just know that it may hurt and be hard to deal with thinking about, accepting and acknowledging these problems you’re facing and changes you need to make but once you’ve done that you can finally start to heal and take steps to change just as I am. If anyone is struggling and feeling lost always feel free to contact me via my Tumblr ask box – anonymous or not, my Facebook Page or my twitter, all links will be below. Your not alone, I am here for you and will support you.

I’m ready to start making changes now, are you?

I’m back ready to blog, I don’t know if anyone actually noticed I was gone but I want to thank any of my followers and new followers who have stuck around even though I have failed to write recently.

http://stressesanddresses.tumblr.com/

https://twitter.com/annaacarter

https://www.facebook.com/StressesAndDressesBlog

Stay strong,

Anna

♥

Feel Good Friday: What If You Fly?

Today’s feel good Friday post is going to be about a quote I found on tumblr…

“What If I fall?

Oh but darling,

What If you fly?”

The reason I like this quote is not only for the positive message it gives but also because it relates to me personally. As you probably know I suffer with OCD and  the majority of OCD sufferers are plagued by the phrase ‘what if’ and it’s always about negative scary things. Why do you we always say ‘what if something bad happens?’ or ‘What if I embarrass myself during my work presentation?’ all examples of the sort of what if thoughts we all suffer with sometimes, It’s always negative isn’t it?

Next time I have a ‘what if’ thoughts I’m going to try to think of it in the opposite way. Take thoughts like the examples above and change them to ‘what if something good happens?’ or ‘what if my work presentation really impresses my boss and goes perfectly?’. The problem is we are quick to worry and look for the bad things in situations but struggle to see the good. Next time you think or someone else says ‘what if’ followed by a negative thought tell yourself or the other person ‘what if’ followed by something positive. Don’t let those ‘what if’ thoughts stop you from achieving things, don’t let them scare you into missing out on opportunity because until we try we can’t judge a situation.

Happy Friday,

Anna

♥

Feel Good Friday: Your Day And Clouds That Get In The Way

So on today’s Feel Good Friday blog post I’m going to talk about not letting small negative things ruin your whole day. I’m not talking about serious, life changing events because I know this can’t be applied to certain situations  I know all to well that sometimes we let ourselves get so down and effected by little things that go wrong from day-to-day and forget all the good stuff. It’s really easy to do, your be going about your day and one thing will happen such as you break something, someone’s nasty to you, you eat that fattening piece of cake or you’re late for work etc and you let it effect your whole day. I really like this quote I found on Tumblr, I think its such a good way of looking at things, and decided I wanted to make a little picture to go with it and write about it. Think of the whole sky as your whole day and the cloud as that bad thing that’s gone wrong. You wouldn’t look at the whole sky and see one cloud and think today’s weather was awful, you would think at least it’s not blocking the sun, at least it’s just one cloud, at least it’s not raining or at least it’s still warm etc. If it was raining would you let it take over your whole day? No you would think ‘oh well it will pass and the sun will come out soon’. The same thing goes for bad things that happen within our days, those little annoying, inconvenient things that get you down. Why let one thing or a few small things completely take over and ruin your whole day?

For instance just today I have binge eaten on all sorts of bad foods whilst I’m trying to lose weight, I instantly feel like a failure and that I have ruined my diet now. But there is also some good things that have happened today, its sunny, I’m healthy, my family are well, I have had a productive day, I had a delicious Costa, I cuddled my dog and my anxiety isn’t too bad today. These are all good things that seem to get overlooked by the one bad thing that happened. Another the example is I will have had a good day and then in the evening a OCD thought makes anxious and scared and suddenly think what a bad ending to a good day or well that’s ruined my good day! It’s such a negative way to think, the good day still happened and one bad thing shouldn’t affect your whole day.

We often tend to have the mind-set of ‘okay yes today has been a good day BUT that bad thing was worse and ruined it’. The only reason that bad thing ruined or over powered the good things were because we allowed it to, we pay it too much attention to the bad and not enough to the good stuff.  We are quick to notice the bad things but not quick enough to appreciate the good things. No matter how small those good things still happened and having some bad things can’t change that unless you let it.  Just imagine that bad, inconvenient thing as a cloud passing by in the background of your blue sky (which is your day. When I look at the picture above I don’t notice the little grey cloud first, I notice the pretty daisy, the bright green grass and the vibrant blue sky. Notice the beauty and good things surrounding you and start paying less attention to the negative things, don’t let them ruin your whole day. Acknowledge them but don’t give them your whole days worth of emotions, allow the good emotions to be the ones you focus on that’s how we learn to appreciate the little things.

Happy Friday beautiful people,

Anna

♥

Feel Good Friday: A Reason Not To Give Up

I love this quote, its inspiring, thought provoking and it speaks a lot of truth! You know when you’re struggling with life’s general ups and downs whether it be a problem with mental health, school, weight loss or anything tough your trying to come out the other side of or succeed in and you feel like it’s all too hard and you feel like your going to have to give up? DON’T. Tomorrow could be the day you succeed and come out the other side of the that mental or physical struggle you’re battling with. If you give up on something you will never know how close you were too succeeding, it could have been a week or a month away and yes you can start the whole process again, which is also good but just think you could be so so close to that goal!

Keep reminding yourself how close you could be to success, why give up right now, keep going until you find success in what ever area you’re seeking it in your life. It may of taken longer than you’d like but imagine how good and strong you will feel once you reach where you want to be! No genius has ever stopped trying, no matter how many times it took they never gave up and that’s how they became an inventor, genius or recovered from a mental illness whatever it may be, that could be you, hang on in there and keep fighting!

Happy Friday beautiful people,

Anna

♥

Feel Good Friday: Penguins?

So I have a book called ‘Everything is going to be ok’ and it is basically pages of quotes and pictures that are inspiring! Its one of those novelty books that could be classed as a ‘coffee table book’ that you or a guest can just flick through, but I love the cover so much I have it on display on a shelf in my room. This weeks post is going to be a bit different but it is related to a quote like normal but instead of me writing about it, it’s mainly going to be pictures! 

The quote I have chosen is…

“One cannot be angry when one looks at a penguin”

When I first read this quote it made me laugh, and me and my mum used to joke about imagining being in the middle of an argument and whipping out a picture of a penguin and just holding it in front of the really angry person. I think it could possibly work, I would not be able to keep a straight face if someone done that to me, so I thought we could test this theory out!

Here are some pictures and GIF’s of penguins, lets see if seeing the penguins makes you smile, feel happier or less angry if you are!

Did it work? are you smiling? Comment down below if you are!

Happy Friday

♥

Anna

Feel Good Friday

Lately since I have been feeling more positive and optimistic I have really been looking around me and appreciating things more and feeling very grateful for my family and also the support and happiness that has and is still growing within me since starting this blog.

The quote above is so true you should never ever sacrifice your family for anything, they are some of the people that we can rely on most in our lives, as I have found, when I’ve had no close friends my family have become my support and friends! You should never sacrifice your heart either, and by this I think it means always be true to yourself and who you are and never sacrifice your heart and happiness for someone who doesn’t appreciate your talents and how special in your very own way you are. Lastly dignity, this relates to not sacrificing your heart to, I think this means have enough dignity to walk away from anything that does not serve you a purpose or make you happy and never sacrifice your dignity in fear of not pleasing other people and them not liking you, have enough respect for yourself or people will walk all over you and not respect you.  So keep your family close, stay true to yourself and always have enough dignity to walk away from anyone who doesn’t believe in you and respect you. Today try to take a second and look around you and see all the good things you have to be grateful for, whether you’re going through a tough time or not, try to find a light in the darkness you’re facing!

Happy Friday ♥

Anna x

Make Your Own Road

Just a quick post, found this picture and quote and it really made me think, so you guys get the pleasure of me babbling on about it!

Life is full of ups and downs, so is a road, but in life we have the choice of where are road is going to take us. There is never one route, we can build our own roads and futures, it might not be easy to turn around and take another route but when you get on that road you want, you will be proud of how far you’ve come and finding your way will mean the road you built for yourself, from all the hard times will be the best. Never follow someone else’s road, be yourself and create your own road, create your own future. Make your own positive road and if you’re not happy with the current road your on, take a different route, learn and gain strength from it!

Anna ♥

Depression is NOT a flaw in character

When you suffer with depression and you lose interest in everything you once we’re interested in and even lose interest in living your life it can be a tough thing to go through, not only have you got all those negative emotions and feelings going on, you also tend to develop A LOT of negative feelings and thoughts towards yourself. It can make you feel as if you just a ‘weak’ person for not getting up and getting on with life because you see people get upset and just pick themselves up you feel as if you should be able too. But that’s the problem with depression, it’s a chemical imbalance within your brain that you have no control over, it is not a flaw in your personality and it definitely doesn’t mean your weak. If anything it makes you strong for never giving up on your life, when you felt like you wanted to the most.

I think depression knocks a lot of confidence depression out of people, i know it did with me, I used to have questions and negative thoughts running through my head all the time ‘Why can’t I be like everyone else?’ ‘Maybe I’m just lazy’ ‘I know this is upsetting my family, so why can’t I just get on with it, I’m so selfish’. You feel as if you’re a burden on everyone and that your such a let down because you can’t hold down a job or can’t cope with getting up and having a shower or you feel like you can’t get out of bed and face the day etc, it makes you feel stupid and pathetic.

I think an important thing to remember when you or someone else is going through depression that it is NOT a choice and it is not a flaw in you or your personality, it is purely a chemical imbalance of hormones and emotions in your brain. Below is a brain scan comparing difference between someone’s brain suffering with depression and without, still think depression is a choice or a flaw in you or someone around you and not a chemical imbalance with hormones in the brain?

It’s important you don’t blame yourself for something that’s not your fault and don’t label yourself with negative labels about you and your personality ‘weak’ ‘pathetic’ ‘burden’ ‘useless’ ‘stupid’ ‘lazy’ none of these hateful names are going to make your depression go away, it will only take you down a more negative road. You have to seek help, talk to someone and seek help, there’s therapy’s, books, medication and ways of treating depression, it’s not easy but you cannot deal with this on your own, you need love and support around you.  Always remember ‘Depression is a flaw in chemistry not character’.

Stay strong, your strong and beautiful, no matter what you think ♥

 

 

Feel Good Friday.

“My whole life I’ve been telling myself “don’t be afraid.”

And it is only now that I’m realizing how stupid that is. Don’t be afraid. Like saying “Don’t move out of the way when someone tries to punch you” or “don’t flinch at the heat of a fire” or “don’t blink.” Don’t be human.

I’m afraid and you’re afraid and we’re always going to be afraid, because that’s the point.

What I should be telling myself is “be afraid but do it anyway.”

Live anyway.”

I don’t know who wrote this quote, it came from a picture on Tumblr, but the writing is too small so I thought I’d type it out. I love this quote so much, as someone with anxiety and OCD I feel like this should be my motto, even if you don’t have anxiety everyone gets afraid so this applies to you too.

As soon as we feel fear we go into panic mode because of our ‘fight or flight’ instinct, which we can’t change but we can change how we react to the feeling of fear. Fear itself cannot hurt you, it’s a really awful feeling but it’s not life threatening its simply a chemical reaction in our body, an emotion.  We can go our whole life’s running from fear or we can accept we are always going to feel fear, but to not let that fear stop us from doing the things we want too, which I myself know is not as easy as it sounds. But if you aim to do at least one thing each day that scares you, that’s a good start and it makes you feel good about yourself when you stand up to fear, it makes you feel proud.I think at the moment whilst battling OCD everyday all day for me is scary, constantly trying not to give into rituals.

Thank your body for trying to keep you safe when you feel anxiety and fear, that’s all your body is doing, it gives us adrenaline ready to either ‘fight or flight’ which in certain situations is necessary and a good thing, but a lot of the time there is no real danger e.g picking up a spider or public speaking, these can be anxiety provoking things but there is no real danger in doing these things (unless you’ve got a deadly spider on your hands), that’s not something I recommend. You know what I mean, I’m not saying go do wild crazy things just because it scares you, I mean do the things you really want to do but fear stops you. It’s hard to have a healthy relationship with fear but by doing something tiny everyday I think that’s the starters to a healthier relationship with it.

Emotions are always temporary, the fear and anxiety won’t last forever, it feels really bad but it will pass. Don’t let anxiety and fear stop you from achieving good things, accept its always going to be there but live anyway!